cast off

It's sucking my life.

I want to live, but I can't move on from this ceaseless thing- a disease.

Yes, it is. Figuratively, it is.

Why? I'm making myself the best for you. I'm trying to be
the one you will treat as your BEST friend. But I can't.
For sure, I'm not the best. For sure, I will not be.

I'm doing things so just. I want to do it right. For me,
you're the one whose making all of these worse.
I don't want to break your trust.

Sorry.

I don't want to ruin your birthday.